Riding the Roller Coaster

This is my life.

My last post was all positive. Today I am feeling more than inadequate in every way. My neighbor came over around 10:50 to get something out of the garage today (We are building rooms in the garage for the older girls). I was still in my pjs with no bra on,already eating lunch, and my house was completely trashed. I kept my arms crossed and tried to explain away how incredibly lazy and disgusting my house and I looked. I am not exaggerating the house. Amos found the basket of plastic eggs and had dumped them on the living room floor. There were toys all over.

At least the pictures on my walls aren't crooked. Right?

Erika has been screaming all morning, usually because she thinks she is mistreated in some way. She falls down, well somebody must have pushed her, I strap her into her carseat, shame on me. Every thing has caused a screaming meltdown today. Also, we are working on potty training, but Amos really isn't getting it. He does well if I tell him when to go, but doesn't tell me when he needs to go. I feel like I am being trained more than I am training him. So we tried regular undies this morning. First thing he does is poop in them. Ok, gross. I clean him up, and we talk about where we are suppose to go potty. He will tell you that you go in the big boy potty, not the undies. Seriously, 20 minutes later, he pees on the living room carpet. I have waved the white flag today. He now has on a diaper. I know logically that he won't be going to high school in diapers, but I have to say that the thought has crossed my mind that he will always be in diapers.

Interesting. There is one fish, two fish, a red fish and a blue fish.

 I'm not sure where this inadequate feeling comes from. Why do I compare myself to other people, sometimes people I don't even know? When you go to someone's house, usually you give them a heads up. So they have their house clean. I know this, but I still get so jealous sometimes that my house seems so cluttered all the time. I clean things off, and then the same day sometimes just hours later, they have piles of stuff on them. Amos is almost 3 and not even close to potty trained, my house is not ever going to be in the pages of Beautiful Homes, it seems as if the majority of my communication with the babies is of the yelling variety, and I have no fashion sense, AND I'm extremely unhappy that I haven't been running or to Zumba in 2 weeks!
Hmmmm........Maybe I have found the problem. Luckily it is an easy solution. Tomorrow I will be going to Zumba, and Saturday after I get my new shoes, I am going to go for a run.
You will all be pleased to know that I have finally gotten dressed and cleaned the house. I even did 2 loads of laundry! Now that the babies are both asleep and my chores are done, I am going to enjoy my peace and quiet and watch some kind of mind numbing tv until the older children get home......in 15  minutes.

I live near train tracks, this equates peace and quiet good enough for me. Where's the chocolate?